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The needs of youth

Derrick Mueller

Today’s youth are asking for something more than what many youth workers are giving them. What are the needs of today’s youth?

In a research project, I asked 100 students to write letters to their youth leaders focused on their perception of their youth group experience and, therefore, on the positive and negative qualities of their youth worker. The letters were then analyzed to identify the major themes. Seventy percent of youth expressed a need for a relationship with their youth leader; 50% said that they had a need for more spiritual input; 45% stated a need for community; 43% wanted pastoral care from their youth leader; and 35% requested better leadership and organization.

Relationship Teens want someone with whom they can have a relationship. They identified specific things that this means. Time. Listen to this quote from a teen’s letter: “Please remember to just spend time with all the youth you can. I don’t know if you have any idea how important it is to young people, but I do. . . . It’s important that everyone feel included.” Over and over, teens either praised the amount of time their youth workers spent with them, or complained that not enough time was spent. Time can include such things as going out for Coke, hanging out with the youth group in the youth pastor’s home, going to sports events that the youth are participating in, talking on the phone, praying with a teen or having a barbecue. Yet, in talking to youth workers in Saskatchewan, I discovered that even a full-time youth pastor on average only has 8–15 hours per week (out of a 45-hour work week) to spend with youth. The youth pastor’s time with youth is often limited to lunch hours and evenings. A good portion of the week is devoted to administrative work: preparing lessons, planning events, etc. In fact, it is my observation that the longer a youth worker has been at a church, the less time he/she is able to be with youth. Yet, youth want time spent on them, and youth workers should make it a priority. Availability. Being a youth worker is not a 9-to-5 job. The work must be done when teens are not in school – at lunch, after school and in the evening. Being a youth worker means being available to talk, counsel and pray when teens are available. One youth wrote, “Whenever I needed to talk, you would take time off from what you were doing or make time to hear what I had to say. . . . I never felt like you were in a hurry to get rid of me or move on to something else.” Affirmation. Youth need to know that someone cares about them. It is important to find at least one way to show every teen that he or she matters, especially the troubled kids. Youth want encouragement, acceptance, friendship, and love from others. Listen to the cry of one teen: “It’s not fair that you favoured the popular ones and that they got the attention. It would be easier if I had more friends to help me, but I never [did], so as a result you really hurt me.” Teens look to us, their youth leaders, to provide for their relational needs. If we do not provide enough encouragement, acceptance, friendship and love, youth may also question God’s ability to give them these things. As Paul said, we need to ”be imitators of God” (Ephesians 5:1). Perseverance. No matter how hard they push away, teens want us to be persistent with them. They want us to keep coming back to them, even if they have a hard outer shell. The teen years can be the most rebellious years of life. Many times, our efforts as youth workers seem fruitless in the life of a wayward or obstinate teen. However, if it were possible to look on the inside of a teen, the effect of perseverance would be evident. Sometimes it is not until much later that the influence is seen outwardly in a teen’s life. Role Models. Many youth want to model their lives after someone. They often especially look to couples to be their guide in male/female relationships. This is an important time in teenagers’ lives. They are caught between the stages of child and grown-up. As they struggle to grow into a new role, they need adults to show them how they are to act. One teen said, “I appreciated the example that you were to me. You were always . . . ‘above reproach’. Even the way you loved your family came across as being positive.” In many cases, leaders must win the right to be heard by their youth, often by proving themselves trustworthy and honest through their actions. One teen commented, “You’ve welcomed us into your home many times, even when a bunch of us came uninvited. . . . You cared for us even though you didn’t care for all the things we did.” Spiritual Input Youth have spiritual concerns. Yes, they want to have fun, but they also want to grow spiritually. They want the bar to be raised from where it is now. Often as youth leaders we do not challenge our youth enough. We give them milk and baby food instead of feeding them spiritual meat. We expect that youth will not be attracted to youth activities if they focus too much on God. The opposite is true. One youth stated bluntly, “I expected to learn more about God from going to youth group.” If youth do not get spiritual input from church youth events, where are they going to get it? Spiritual input revolves around several key areas. Loving Jesus. Teens need to be taught and given relevant examples of how they can express their love for Jesus. This is an area in which youth will learn not only by teaching, but by the example we give them to follow. How do we show our love for Jesus? Youth will pick up on our good example, as well as on the things we may need to work on. Missions trips. Missions trips help in the spiritual journey, whether the trip involves going to Mexico or Angola, for two weeks or two months. These quotes illustrate the importance youth place on missions: “You see how people will give up everything for you, just because you are a Christian from another culture. You recognize how important other believers are.” “I saw how little people in other countries have compared to me. I have so much garbage. It made me want to throw it all away for things that are really important.” “Many people in other cultures have so much joy. They taught me how much I have to be thankful for and joyful about.” “Missions trips are good. They bring brothers and sisters in Christ close to each other and to God.” Prayer. The disciples asked Jesus, “Lord, teach us to pray” (Luke 11:1). He responded by teaching them what we call The Lord’s Prayer. Today’s youth want to learn how to communicate with their Father in heaven. They will not learn how to pray unless we teach them. I learned how to pray when an elder in my church took the time to teach me. Often, he and I went to seminars on prayer. Focus on Scripture. Bible studies, teaching sessions, devotionals and small group meetings are opportunities to focus on Scripture. The key is to make the teaching of Scripture informative and interactive. Teens want to figure things out for themselves. They want to ask questions and dig into the Word. One teen said, “I will remember forever the weekly Bible studies with you. I got to know God in awesome ways. Your Sunday school lessons helped me.” Youth want to be challenged. Allow them to have the experience of leading a study. I remember my first experience of giving a devotional. I was not a Christian, but I had been to so many devotional times that my youth leader asked me to teach. The message of salvation finally hit me then, and I realized that I needed to accept God’s grace. I became a Christian while teaching others about Christ. Evangelism. How do we reach people who do not know about God? What do we say to our non-Christian friends? Sharing the good news should be a simple, yet important part of life, but many youth do not know how to go about it. Consider carolling at Christmas in the church’s neighbourhood. Take your youth group to a street ministry centre. Help them to become comfortable with telling their stories about what God is doing in their lives. When praying with your youth group, specifically pray for opportunities for your youth to talk to their friends about God. Help your youth to understand how important evangelism is in the lives of their unsaved friends. Community Youth group is a place where youth can belong, a place where they can enter into a loving, caring, nurturing, godly, supportive atmosphere, a place much different from the competitive, distrusting, harsh world they live in. Community has many facets: Fun Times. In these protected communities, youth want to have fun. They want to be able to be themselves, to act immature sometimes, to build relationships with one another and to forget the pressures of their lives for a while. Trips, events and concerts can be excellent opportunities for bonding. One youth commented, “Youth group was always fun. I enjoyed seeing my friends and doing wholesome activities.” Fellowship. Youth want to fellowship with one another, to pray for and listen to each other. Today’s youth are becoming tomorrow’s church. Because of this, they need to develop as a community so that they will one day function as a strong church body. Sometimes getting people into this community is hard. Often teens ask: “Who’s going to be there?” This question illustrates the importance of relationships and the security teens find in them. A teen admitted, “The only reason I ever came to youth group was because of my Christian friends who were there.” As youth leaders, we need to work on making our youth communities accepting and friendly to all. Worship. Whether they jam together as a band, sing praises or kneel before God, teens desire to worship God. As youth leaders, not only should we plan events to include worship, but we need to learn from our teens’ example. God desires our worship too. Pastoral Care “It was my youth worker that got me back on track.” Have you heard this testimony before? Teens are at a critical age. They want to figure things out on their own, to be independent, yet they want to be guided by people who have already been where they are. They are looking for someone to pastor them, but not to preach to them. One teen noted, ”You listened so carefully to what was happening in my life, [and] helped me work through some struggles. I especially remember those early morning prayer meetings and how much they encouraged me in my walk with God.” Another said, “You were always there when I was looking for advice.” “Your leadership came when I had no direction,” was the thankful response of another teen. In my dealings with youth, I see that they are very much like sheep, who can wander away and get lost easily. They need to be directed back to the rest of the flock, to be shown their boundaries and to be guided in the right path. It is important that our relationships with youth do not stay at an elementary level. We need to challenge our youth spiritually. “Where are you with God?” and “What is God doing in your life?” should be regular questions that we ask them. Leadership and Organization No youth worker wants to hear this student’s comment: “Your planning of events . . . can use a little work.” A lot of a youth worker’s time needs to be spent in the area of administration, sometimes up to 65%. However, the time spent pays off. Events run smoothly, many of the questions asked during a Bible lesson can be answered, and confusion can be minimized. Another student shared this insight with a youth leader: “Sometimes you could have prepared more for your Bible studies.” A youth leader does not have to have all the skills necessary for a successful youth ministry. Leading youth is a team effort. If I am weak in one area, I surround myself with people who can do those things that I have a hard time with. I worked with Nancy in one of my youth groups. She was in charge of follow-up. I could preach the messages and bring people to Christ, but I was not as good at the relational aspect, talking one-on-one with the teens. Nancy was great at that. She hugged, she talked, she loved, and within 24 hours she phoned up anyone who had come to our youth meetings.

Concluding Observations

Youth value informal situations over formal ones. Youth value relationships over programs. Youth value spiritual challenge over entertainment. Youth value community over isolation. Youth value friendship over professionalism. Youth value role models over entertainers. Youth value listeners over talkers. Youth value leaders who are called by God over those who are doing youth work as a job.

 
 

To my youth pastor Over the past three years, I’ve been in your youth group. I had a lot of fun over that time. The friendships that grew in that time will be everlasting. I always enjoyed going to youth – not for the Bible studies, but to be with my friends. I generally disliked the Bible studies because they weren’t studies. We sat and were preached at, and generally if we could get a word in, we were wrong. I wanted the Bible studies to be more interactive, where we could ask questions and give input. I don’t recall really ever learning anything or growing spiritually in youth. I can’t say that youth wasn’t good because it was. Worship nights were great, and the activity nights were always fun. I liked the way you asked us what we wanted to do. I’m not sure I can give an unbiased opinion of you because of the way delicate situations were handled. I didn’t like the way things my mother told you about my past were thrown into my face, with the hopes that it would pressure me into a decision. That wasn’t the way to go about it. In dealing with delicate situations it would be wise to use compassion and to be more sensitive. To my youth pastor I wanted to let you know how much I appreciated your work as my youth leader. You have been a great influence in my life. Even more than the events or projects we did in Youth, I will remember the time and interest you invested in my life. To you, I mattered, and for that I am so grateful. Thanks for the time you invested in my spiritual growth. You were never too busy to sit down with me and see where I was at, and you were never too proud to tell me how you were struggling. You always made the effort to spend time in prayer. You were concerned about us as growing Christians, and it showed in your planning of youth events and the time you spent talking and praying with us. Thanks as well for your friendship. You extended not only yourself but also your family to me, and it was great to get to know them. Thanks especially for trusting me with your kids and house; it showed you believed in me and loved me. Thanks for being there for me when I needed you, even when it was inconvenient for you. One suggestion for the future: Loosen up. Let us do the planning and take some responsibility. One thing I always wished was that we could have some say in the planning of events and activities. Let us try something and fail . . . you not only will be less stressed and have more time, but also you will develop more capable leaders in your group. Thanks for everything. Continue the good work!

 
 
Derrick Mueller is a youth ministry specialist and an instructor at Bethany Bible Institute in Hepburn, Sask.

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Last modified February 14, 2002.

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