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God had other plans

Nancy Salmon

My husband Berridge (“Bear”) and I met on a blind date June 1, 1982. Our next date was June 3rd (my birthday), and he proposed on our way out to dinner. He said he would have popped the question on our first date, but didn’t want to rush it. We were married March 26, 1983 in a private ceremony in a friend’s house.

We lived a rather busy life, working and socializing with our friends. Berridge was raised as an Anglican, and I was raised in a Catholic home. Neither one of us went to church, although we both believed there was a God. Berridge travelled a lot by car in his work as a saw salesman, going to all the sawmills within B.C. On the weekends, we would try to crowd as much as we could into the little time we had together.

On July 12, 1983, everything came to a screeching halt. The police came to the door to advise me that Berridge had been involved in a serious accident near Vernon, B.C. and that he had been taken to Kelowna General Hospital for life-saving surgery. The doctors needed my approval before they could go ahead. When the police got the doctor on the phone, he advised me that Berridge’s injuries were extremely serious and they were not sure he would survive the night.

The two young policemen were very caring. They arranged to get me on a flight to Kelowna and took our little dog Kishi over to a friend’s house. That flight was one of the longest and most stressful I have ever experienced.

I prayed that if Berridge was going to die, God would take him right away so that he would not suffer, but that if he lived through the night, I would know that he would survive.

God was taking care of me that night. He provided a nurse named Marg Sylvester to take me under her wing. She tried to prepare me for what I would see when Berridge came out of surgery.

Berridge went into surgery about 7:30 p.m. and did not come out until 4:00 a.m. The doctor came to see me after he had finished and explained Bear’s injuries to me. His jaw had been broken in three places, he had a very bad head injury, and his face was badly cut. His arm was very badly damaged, the upper part having been torn away, severing the radial nerve and tearing all the muscle out. He advised me that the injuries were so severe that total recovery was not likely. Bear was in a coma, and it would be a few days before they would be able to tell if he would come out of it. He was on a respirator, a heart machine and a machine monitoring his brain in order to determine if there was any swelling. I didn’t think I would ever get over the shock of seeing him for the first time.

A few days later, the doctor advised me that they might have to remove Bear’s left arm as it was so badly damaged. I begged them not to, as Berridge loved to golf and I knew he would do anything to get back on the golf course. They advised me that it would depend on how healthy the wound would be and right then it didn’t look good. I prayed that day as I sat beside his bed, and again God answered my prayer because the doctors were amazed that the arm was much better the following day.

Three-and-a-half weeks went by without any sign of improvement, and I asked the doctor about sending Berridge back to Vancouver. I was staying in a hotel and spending all day at the hospital, and I thought that if we brought him back to Vancouver, maybe the diagnosis would be more hopeful. The doctors in Kelowna were absolutely wonderful and caring. They told me that all they could do was to give me the statistics, but the brain was an amazing thing and miracles do happen.

We got Berridge to Vancouver by air ambulance. They didn’t have room for me on the plane, so my girlfriend flew up after work and we drove back together through the night so I would be there when he arrived at the hospital.

After the initial examination by the doctor in Vancouver, the prognosis was worse than before. I was advised that Berridge would not be coming out of his coma and if he did, he would not be able to do anything, so I should just carry on with my life.

Wonderfully, God had other plans! I chose not to listen to that doctor and dedicated my days to being with my husband. I talked to him and played music for him, and when friends came to visit, I talked for him. When I went home at night, I’d talk to the dog, and by the time Bear did start to talk, he wasn’t able to get a word in edgewise. I was so used to having one-way conversations that it was a hard habit to break.

Three months went by. I was reading by his bedside one day when I felt someone watching me. I looked up, and he was staring at me. I jumped out of my seat and started to talk and cry at the same time. His eyes were fixed in one place, but that was the start of a very slow waking-up process.

Another day soon after, I was giving Berridge a bath and asked him to move his toe. To my surprise, he did. I called for the nurses to come and see, but he wouldn’t do it for them and they thought I wanted to see it so badly that I had imagined it. The next day he did do it for them, and they were as excited as I was. I was very grateful to God for keeping Bear asleep while he was healing. It would have been extremely painful for him to be conscious, as he had so much healing to do.

Bear started physiotherapy shortly after, and I was very grateful for the dedication of the therapists. Months later, he was transferred to G.F. Strong Rehabilitation Hospital. At G.F. Strong, they would work with him for about an hour, and then he would be left on his own in his room. I would stop in at lunch and every day after work until around 9:30. It was getting so hard for us to be apart I decided that I wanted him to come home. I arranged with the hospital (against their advice) that I would drop him off on my way to work in the morning, they would work with him throughout the day and then I would pick him up on my way home. That way, he could at least sleep in his own bed. It was also a way of getting more therapy for him. He started to improve a lot after that.

While Bear was still in a coma in Vancouver General, I ran into a Christian friend that I hadn’t seen in a number of years. She didn’t know that I had remarried, and I introduced her to Berridge. Donna and her husband Bill were attending Willingdon MB Church, and she asked if we would like the church to pray for Berridge. Of course, I said yes. She also gave me some music by Sandi Patti that I found peace in.

One Sunday, they asked if I would like to go to church with them. That’s where I met Pastor Ed Goerzen. He asked how Berridge was and if I would like him to stop in and see Bear when he was doing his hospital visits. I was very touched by the caring people I met; it was astonishing to think that all of these people didn’t even know us, yet they were praying for my husband’s recovery. Ed started visiting Berridge, and, as Bear became more aware, he knew that the pastor was praying for him.

It took Berridge seven months to come out of his coma fully. We didn’t know how many surgeries he would have to go through, but through all of this I grew to love and admire him all the more for his amazing strength. He is an inspiration to me.

One weekend when I brought Berridge home, he asked if we could go to church. I said I didn’t know if I wanted to because I was embarrassed about crying so much in church. We decided that we should talk to Pastor Ed about it and made an appointment to see him one Monday evening. That evening, September 7, 1984, Pastor Ed asked us if we would like to ask Jesus into our lives. Our answer was a resounding YES!

After we committed our lives to Jesus, we decided we wanted to renew our vows, as Berridge had no recollection of our wedding. (In fact, when he woke up, he didn’t know who I was because he had lost two years out of his life.) In May 1985, we were baptized by Pastor Herb Neufeld at Willingdon Church. We were married in a beautiful Christian service the following week. We wanted our ceremony to be a witness to our friends that we had decided to let the Lord run our lives from now on. After all, He had taken over without our ever realizing it when He carried us both through all that happened.

Our many prayers have been answered and continue to be answered. Bear’s larynx was shattered, so they had to rebuild his throat. Berridge couldn’t speak for about two years, and when he did start, he was pretty hard to understand. One of his vocal cords is completely collapsed, so his voice is nothing like it was. That doesn’t make a difference to my Bear. He just keeps plugging away. In fact, a couple of years ago we had a small choir at our church. When I told Bear I wanted to join, he said he’d like to as well, and we did. He was up there singing his heart out, and the wonderful people in our choir and church were so accepting. It didn’t make a difference what he sounded like; they all thought it was wonderful. After all, to God it was probably a beautiful sound. Bear knows many songs by heart that we sing daily in our home, and always takes part when we sing in the services.

Bear is still considered 100% disabled, as he’ll never be able to go back to work, and that does bother him. He has his depressed moments, but they are just moments. He’s not one to be down all the time. He always wakes up with a smile on his face and a song in his heart. God has surely blessed me with this man.

Berridge was in a wheelchair for nine years, and for the last nine years has been walking. His gait isn’t particularly smooth, but he’s walking on his own (or I should say with God’s hand in his). He can walk our dog for up to three-quarters of an hour. I have a hard time keeping up to him at times.

Berridge has a therapist who works with him three days a week at a gym. He volunteers one day a week at a retirement home, playing crib with one of the older men and keeping him company. He also spends two days a week at Chimo Achievement Centre. There is a multiple sclerosis group there that does crafts and exercises. Berridge loves to be there. As he sees people going into wheelchairs with this dreaded disease, he brings cheer into their lives. He loves to give hugs to everyone there and at church.

Without the Lord in our lives, there is no way we could have handled all the struggles that have come our way. We may not always understand why things like this happen, but we cling to Proverbs 3:5-6: “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight”.

When Berridge and I think of the sacrifice that God made when He sent his Son to earth and of Jesus’ suffering for us, there is no sacrifice that we can make that will even come close to equalling that. Our lives now are so much more complete that if it meant that we had to go through this in order to accept Jesus, we would go through it again.

Nancy and Berridge Salmon are now members of Hyde Creek Community Church in Port Coquitlam, B.C.

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Last modified April 19, 2001.

© 2001 Mennonite Brethren Herald.
Published by the Canadian Conference of MB Churches.
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