Understanding congregational splits

Fred Starke and Bruno Dyck

How much of your church’s resources (money, time and energy) are diverted from the mission of the church because people withdraw from the church, withhold contributions, withdraw from relationships, argue, try to keep a lid on conflict or try to control people in conflict? Free up those resources for service/mission by creating a Caring Reconciliation/Dispute Resolution System in your church (read Matthew 18).

This doesn’t mean that people will now be free to withdraw, withhold contributions or protest (use coercive power); that there are no rules or authority in the church; or that the Bible is not authoritative. In fact, it recognizes that these are real and that this is the context in which reconciliation takes place.

It means creating a system and atmosphere where differences can be resolved early and in ways that end up creating rather than draining resources.

Help people focus Design procedures to bring about discussion as early as possible. When someone in the congregation becomes aware of a conflict/disagreement, they should encourage each party to get together to discuss it. If help is needed, have trained mediators available to be with them, help them hear each other and help them be accountable for their agreements. Have back-up mediation available if the first attempt fails to bring resolution. Perhaps add more people, people from particular boards or finally the whole church. Strengthen motivation by removing obstacles. Get started. Reconciling interests and relationships is inherently motivating. It tends to provide more satisfying outcomes, and does so at lower costs (less wasted energy and time, less withheld money). Preach and teach the value of reconciling interests and relationships (peacemaking). Create multiple points of entry. Many people throughout the church should be empowered to listen to the parties and, if requested, activate a mediation process. Stop retaliating. Encourage those who open up problems, rather than labelling them as troublemakers or church antagonists. Encourage meetings and provide reasons to meet. Pastors, deacons, elders, council members and all church members can encourage people with disagreements to meet. Often individuals feel they are weak, sinful or troublemakers if they have a disagreement. Resolving conflicts is the biblical process of forgiveness. Provide hope for a good resolution and encouragement to risk opening the problem up. Love (value and care for) all parties in a disagreement. Provide skill and resources. Provide training for all members in reconciliation skills and procedures. Train members to be helpful listeners for friends. Designate coaches for people to go to for ideas on how to approach the other party. Make mediators readily available, enough so that each person can identify one they already trust.

If you have not been seeking cooperative resolutions in your church in the past, you may have a backlog of problems that will come to the surface when the system is opened up. The energy expended may seem greater at first. Don’t give up in the first six months. Give it at least a two-year trial. Then evaluate and celebrate. Use the saved resources for mission/service.

© 1997 Ron Claassen and Dalton Reimer, Center for Peacemaking and Conflict Studies, Fresno Pacific University, Fresno. Calif. This article has been published in Doug Schulz and Michael Dick, eds., Following the Call: A Leadership Manual for Mennonite Brethren Churches (Kindred Productions, 1998, 298 pp.). A copy of this manual has been sent to every Mennonite Brethren church in North America. Besides a section on conflict resolution, this manual includes helpful sections on issues such as pastor-church relations and church governance.

Last modified May 31, 2005.

© 2005 Mennonite Brethren Herald.
Published by the Canadian Conference of MB Churches.
Masthead and usage information.