Previous | Next 

Disappointment

Janet Panning

We didn’t place a participant of Mennonite Central Committee’s SALT program at a certain boys’ home in Jamaica this year. We didn’t do so because administration and staffing difficulties at the home led to inconsistent and sometimes excessively harsh treatment of the children, irregular and sometimes inadequate meals, and periods of days when previous SALTers had been left in charge of the entire 40-plus boys. (SALT stands for Serving and Learning Together; it is a year-long program for 18-to-24-year-old North Americans.)

Boys at a well-administered home in Jamaica. MCC photo by Martin Bartel

It is one thing to work in an abusive environment. It is another to realize that you are being shaped by that environment – coming to think like the others, shouting, feeling like hitting the children with whatever is nearby. It seemed best not to place a SALTer at this home this year. Unfortunately, the children who live at the home don’t have a choice about their own placement there.

Our first SALTer there was asked early on to make a metre stick for a teacher. It wasn’t until after he had meticulously cut, measured and sanded the stick that he realized that no one was going to measure with it. He had created a disciplinary weapon. He also quickly realized why the garden hose was too short; staff cut off lengths of it when they needed to discipline children.

When angry with a child, the house “mother” would yell at him, “Your mother has AIDS!” Rumour has it she stole the boys’ food, and gave clothes that belonged to some children to others she liked better. She wasn’t fired until she went after a child with a kitchen knife.

We drove past the home several weeks ago as we were picking up people for a youth rally. It was early Sunday morning, and I thought we could drive by unnoticed. We drove past, slowed down and all of a sudden heard lots of little-boy voices cheering from the windows. “They’re back!” they shouted, recognizing the van. We continued on without stopping.

MCC photo by Mark Will

I felt terrible. I didn’t expect the children to see the van, and I had no idea how much they were waiting for us to bring back a SALTer to visit or live with them. They had been waiting since the last SALTer had left the home 10 months earlier – waiting, expecting, finally thinking it had happened and then being disappointed as the van drove on without explanation.

Holy Week, the week before Easter, is a time of waiting, expecting and being disappointed: Jesus died, the tomb was empty, and Mary stood outside the tomb crying. Fortunately for us, we can quickly move on in the account to where Mary realized it was Jesus who was there with her. But who will be the face of Jesus to the little boys at the home?

This article was distributed as a news release by Mennonite Central Committee in February, 1998, when Janet Panning was co-director of the MCC Jamaica program. Janet now lives in Souderton, Pa.

Previous | Next 

Last modified May 4, 2000.

© 2000 Mennonite Brethren Herald.
Published by the Canadian Conference of MB Churches.
Masthead and usage information.