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Avoiding one another

Carlin Weinhauer

There are many reasons why people try to avoid one another. A relationship ended badly. Money is owed. A rumour suggests the person said something about another person. A slight is allowed to blossom into full-scale hatred. A person is “different” and no one wants to be seen with him or her.

There are also a number of ways people try to avoid one another. Glancing away before eyes meet. Hiding behind another person or object. Staying away from places the person is known to frequent. Screening calls and/or not returning calls. Filling one’s life with other people, leaving no time and little opportunity to meet the one being avoided.

There are a number of “one anothers” in the New Testament. “Avoiding one another” is not one of them. People in the world avoid one another, but we as followers of Jesus seek to lovingly interact with one another and also to reach out to a world which is trying to avoid us and the God we serve. Avoidance may be a coping mechanism employed by the world, but openness and integrity with one another are the call of the New Testament.

Thinking through some of the “one anothers” of Scripture can help us live in harmony and spiritual fruitfulness as we serve the Lord together:

“Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honour one another above yourselves” (Romans 12:10). “Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited” (Romans 12:16). “Let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother’s way (Romans 14:13). “Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you” (Romans 15:7). “Do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love” (Galatians 5:13). “Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love” (Ephesians 4:2). “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32). “Speak to one another with psalms, hymns and spiritual songs” (Ephesians 5:19). “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21). “Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another” (Colossians 3:13). “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom” (Colossians 3:16). “Encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing” (1 Thessalonians 5:11). “Encourage one another daily so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness” (Hebrews 3:13). “Let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds” (Hebrews 10:24). “Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another” (Hebrews 10:25). “Now that you have purified yourselves by obeying the truth so that you have sincere love for your brothers, love one another deeply, from the heart” (1 Peter 1:22). “All of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be compassionate and humble” (1 Peter 3:8). “Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling” (1 Peter 4:9). “Young men, be submissive to those who are older. Clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble’” (1 Peter 5:5). “If we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, His Son, purifies us from all sin” (1 John 1:7).

The “one anothers” of the Bible provide wonderful counsel for blessing each other rather than avoiding each other.

Carlin Weinhauer is senior pastor of Willingdon Church in Burnaby, B.C. This article was first published in the October 1999 Willingdon Church newsletter.

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Last modified May 4, 2000.

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