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The gift of a visit

Elaine Froese

‘‘Mom, what would you like for Christmas?”

My response is “Happy healthy children who are content with what they have!”

But there is one other thing: How about a visit?

I dropped in yesterday for a warm cup of tea with my widow friend in town. I did not give advance notice that I should be expected, but I was welcomed with open arms. The encouragement and loving conversation shared over a spontaneous cup of tea will keep my emotional batteries well charged through this current cold snap!

Is it my imagination, or are we losing the art of visiting? My sense is that people feel they need a specific invitation to come to my home. We don’t get many drop-in visitors, other than those pesky salespeople. Perhaps people assume we are too busy and don’t have time for a visit.

I’d like to dispel that myth. Don’t assume anything. Some people have almost no human connection at all, and long for a visit. If you’re not comfortable with just dropping in, call ahead.

I’m ashamed that I usually see my neighbour Dorothy just once a year. Another neighbour is delighted to share tea, but usually gets just a wave as I trek by on another errand to town. What is going to make us stop, make us take time to build relationships?

Ask yourself if you can remember what colour of socks or sweatshirt you received last Christmas. I expect you’re more likely to remember the laughter, carolling or chatter around a festive table.

We all need to be affirmed, understood and appreciated. Phone calls and letters can keep a relationship flowing, but a personal visit is a very special gift.

Visits let us see people in the context of their surroundings. We can pick up clues as to how they are really doing and what they need. A casual visit this summer to a woman who has a greenhouse, gave me a great place to share my bedding plant containers. Another spontaneous visit on a backyard deck was a time of “walking alongside” a couple struggling with the ups and downs of depression. We were unaware of their pain until we stopped to visit.

Visits to seniors can help ease their loneliness, but can also teach us lots in the process. I am eager to hear stories of “life in the old country” from my friend Susie. As snow and cold trap people in their homes, we can share the keys of friendship with our visits.

Christmas family gatherings may be the “mega-visit” of the year, as we try to catch up with all the cousins in one place. I’d encourage you to turn down the cousins’ lane in the “off season” as well.

Give the gift of a visit real soon.

Elaine Froese is a member of Boissevain (Man.) MB Church. This article originally appeared as a column in Grainews.

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Last modified December 9, 1999.

© 1999 Mennonite Brethren Herald.
Published by the Canadian Conference of MB Churches.
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