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Alone for Christmas?

Simon Gibson

Christmas is both the happiest and the saddest time of the year. If you are part of a wonderful family, and have good friends near, then this will be a Christmas to look forward to. But perhaps this is your first Christmas season without a loved one – a spouse has left, a parent has passed away, or your best friend rarely calls you back. All the clatter of Christmas advertising and the teeming crowds in the stores seem to be in stark contrast to the quietness of your house or apartment. Wherever you look, happy couples and families are enjoying the season; you know they’ll soon be back home sharing a meal and gathering beside a cozy fireplace. But you are alone.

Just after high school, I took a job as a desk clerk at a small hotel in an isolated community on the windswept west coast of Vancouver Island. It was a company town, and the only access was by boat or plane.

It never stopped raining. I recall sitting in my hotel room after my shift, looking down on the parking lot (only the paying guests got the ocean view) and watching the grey rain flood over the rusty cars. The mill workers and their families were friendly enough, but they had their own lives, their own relationships. My boss, the hotel manager, seemed to be intoxicated for much of the time.

A long-time friend suddenly arrived one day in early November to say he had accepted a job as a cook in the hotel. It was nice to have him around. He bought some Christmas lights at the local co-op and decorated our room. They flashed cheerfully, and I could almost forget about the constant rain and the relative isolation.

Two weeks into December, my friend took a transfer to another hotel. A day after telling me, he left by floatplane. The Christmas lights continued to flash, a reminder that he had gone. Sometimes, I would leave them on all night, and go to sleep with the on-off coloured glow as company.

Christmas Day approached, and the weather grew stormy. Supplies did not get through, and the seaplanes could not fly. I phoned my parents, and they said my gifts had been sent. My presents had not reached them either.

On December 25, I awoke to the sound of driving rain and spent most of the day in my room, trying to sleep to escape from my circumstances.

At dinnertime, the only other guest in the hotel, a stranded seaplane pilot, and I were served turkey in the ocean-view dining room. The pilot was angry at being trapped in the town, ate quickly and returned to his room. I lingered for a moment, talked briefly to the cook, who was cleaning up before returning to her family, then went back to my room. I pressed my head into my pillow and cried myself to sleep.

Today, as a Christian, I often reflect on that experience: the feeling of being absolutely alone on the most family-oriented day of the year. Even as I write this, I can picture the string of lights flashing incessantly in my solitary little hotel room.

If you’re facing the prospect of a Christmas alone, perhaps for the first time, take comfort in Christ, our Saviour, who knows your anguish, knows your pain. He will never fail you or forsake you (Hebrews 13:5). He is a wonderful helper, a friend who wants to comfort you, especially during your difficult times.

The knowledge of the living Christ so surpasses the commercial clutter of this season that it might even be tempting to pity those caught in the meaningless web of shopping and decorating. Being alone at Christmas can draw you closer to Him. Perhaps your prayer life will be richer and your study of the Word more enthusiastic this lonely Christmas season.

Perhaps, also, you will have more time to think about others. For opportunities to serve during the Christmas season, contact a pastor at your church and let him or her know of your availability. The community services office will need people to distribute food hampers, and this could be a tangible way to witness for Jesus. Senior citizens’ homes are filled with people who have lost all their loved ones; they would be thrilled to have you visit them. Look about you. Perhaps there is a person who is in a similar position to yourself who is just waiting for an invitation for dinner.

Even if you decide to just stay close to home, God will meet your needs in a beautiful way. Being alone is not our first choice for this time of the year, and I would certainly not choose to relive my lonesome experience in that bleak Vancouver Island village. However, as Christians, we can find meaning and purpose in Jesus, whatever our circumstances.

Simon Gibson is a member of Northview Community Church in Abbotsford, B.C.

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Last modified December 9, 1999.

© 1999 Mennonite Brethren Herald.
Published by the Canadian Conference of MB Churches.
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