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Watch your language

Al Albrecht

“I would like to invite you to our lunch after the program this morning.”

“I want to welcome all of you to our worship service.”

“I would like to thank you for your financial support.”

Listen to the way we talk to each other, especially during church services or churchwide conventions. Our talk is filled with “would likes” and “wants.”

But church talk is not the only offender. “Would likes” and “wants” also show up at coffee klatches and secular business meetings. We hear these phrases on TV from politicians, preachers, talk show hosts, game show moderators and sports commentators.

If you are a member of a group to whom such language is directed, how do you respond? Do you wonder if the speaker is sincere? After you hear an “I would like,” do you ever feel like saying, “Well, go ahead. Who is keeping you from it?” or “It is one thing to like to and quite another to actually do it.”

When a speaker says to me, “Welcome to our church,” “Thank you for your support,” or “I invite you to our potluck lunch,” I believe that person is sincere. I respond positively.

Jesus said to Matthew the tax collector, “Follow Me” (Mark 2:14); to the multitude, “Come unto Me and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28); and to His disciples, “Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons” (Matthew 10:8). This directness is a quality of the original language, not only of the English translation. An open society demands clear, forthright language.

A first cousin to “would likes” are these phrases: “I apologize” or “If I have offended anyone, please accept my apology.” An apology is used to restore relationships after we know we have given offence. But to name the process is not to do it. To say only “I apologize” is similar to a limp handshake. It communicates “I don’t really care.”

A sincere apology states the offence and describes the person’s attitude about having given offence: “I am sorry that I distorted and misrepresented your position. I’ll clarify it with those people that I misled. I’m very sorry that this happened. I hope we’ll continue to be friends.”

Al Albrecht is a professor emeritus at Goshen (Ind.) College and a freelance writer. This article is reprinted, with permission, from the Dec. 31, 1996 issue of Gospel Herald.

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Last modified August 31, 2000.

© 2000 Mennonite Brethren Herald.
Published by the Canadian Conference of MB Churches.
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